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How Do YOU Like Your Fetishes? Kinky? Furry? Or Yo Mama?

How Do YOU Like Your Fetishes? Kinky? Furry? Or Yo Mama?

That’s okay, though. At least a person is taking a chance to succeed or to strike out, which is a lot more than some people are willing to attempt themselves. If you could sit back, turn off the porn and put away your meth and booze, could you find a few moments of peace and quiet? Could you sit back and think on lovers past and learn something from each of them? I could. Janet taught me that I could be loved. Brenda taught me greater appreciation for food, culture, and patience… and always watch your back. Emma taught me to stand up for myself and not let people walk all over me, even though she wasn’t trying to… She sort of taught by example. Lena, even though I was never with her, taught me that the faint of heart never wins the girl… Melissa inadvertently taught me that I don’t need to change who I am to be with anyone… Annette taught me about vegetarianism, Flight associated with the Conchords, even more patience and being okay with walking away when you know it’s over… Lessons in Love and Failure… There’s a few other lessons that I keep to myself, though.topadultreview.com I look at the lessons above. Some were from relationships that were and some that never came to be. It doesn’t make me sad. I don’t feel like a failure; I feel like I’ve learned lot and that I’ve evolved quite a bit. As many of you know, I have a girlfriend. As far as I’m concerned, she’s the last one I’ll ever have.

She’ll be the last of many things. That’s a powerful thing to say, I think and I mean that down deep. Were it not for my wide variety failures in relationships I wouldn’t be where I am right now. Which could seem a no brainer to you; however, it’s those failures that allowed me to search deep within and find nuggets of wisdom. Failure helped me prepare for this relationship I’m in now. Certain arguments would have caused me to walk away ten years ago. Some things that get said to me, used to cause me to lash out in anger, whereas i could take a breath, calm the f*ck down, stand up for myself and get over it. I always speak my mind without fear of the consequences.

That is, if something is bothering me i could talk about it, rather than bottle it up. I’m not calling people fat ass now. What kind of dick do you take me for? Now it’s your turn. Take some time, think about your past lovers and share what you learned and how it’s helped you through the years, in the comments below. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Relationships, Self This is probably my favorite badge of all the times. Right next to the pic of me and yo mama doin it! Sugar Plum; Babe; Stud; Tits Magee; Cuddle Bear; Snookums; Sweetie; Shorty; Dumpling; Woman. You might be looking at these names, pet names, and saying to yourself “Alex, have you really been called ALL of these names? Really!?” I’m the first one to tell you that Woman and Tits Magee have been used as terms of endearment. That’s right, kids.

I’m going to own that mo’ fo! Not that I’m proud of being called Tits Magee. Prison changes a man, dammit! Obviously, when we’re caught within the snare of a relationship, however casual or serious it might probably be, there’s a pet name has been assigned to you. Carrie Bradshaw’s done it and my blogger contemporaries do it. Nick names or pet names; whatever you want to call it, tumble around in a person’s head. The names get assigned. They just do.

I know that we, as a people, have a need to label things. Some of us label the person we have sex with as a boyfriend or wife, or the Best Buy Stereo System installation guy (Though, that last nick name isn’t a nick name more than it is a job position. Just sayin). Where does that need to label; to name come from? I think it’s part survival skill. If a guy comes up with a particularly cute pet name for his partner, chances are it’s likely to help him not get kicked in the stomach by said partner if he pisses them off. This has worked for me once but has failed miserably other times. Generally, I have never preferred being called by a pet name. That is, unless you call me “The “Indomitable Earth Smashing Vaginator,” or the “Man Missle.” I think it stems from my innate discomfort around all things cute, like kittens, babies or Sandra Bernhardt. I’ve just never preferred the pet names.

I don’t give em, I shoot a evil eye to those that give them to me. Perhaps it’s because I’m a sensible and grounded, if random, guy. If the name makes sense, I could get on board with it. If my girl called me “Man Beef” or “Tall Handsome and Exceedingly Gorgeous Plum” I’d be okay with that, I think.

How to Know If it Is a Long Term or Just A Lust

As it stands, though, my woman has not assigned either unique pet name to me. However, being in a relationship changes a man over the course of time, like waves smashing a cliff and eroding the rock face, like a large Prisoner who asserts his manhood upon you. Thus being with my girlfriend has opened me up to become more accepting of pet names. No, no. I’m not going to tell you what they are. Those names are just for me and I’m not sharing them! I will say that they are meant to be endearing and because I know how my gal feels about me; i could appreciate their sincerity and inherent goofiness hand in hand. It’s how my girlfriend shows love… So what’s in a pet name? More than you thought, Brochacho. 😉 P.S. Fellas, don’t call your lady a “turd.” She won’t like it. At all.

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She might kick you in the belly just for good measure. Be warned. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, For Men, For Women, Opinion Tagged in: Relationships Okay, the pic is over-kill, but it took a while to “forget.” I might as well have been a Ken Doll, manly enough in appearance ( I guess Ken isn’t really “manly” but you know what I mean), but instead of having a penis there was a smooth area… Disturbing? Yeah, I’m a bit creeped out, too. At one point in my life I was painfully shy and really had a hard time striking up conversation with girls. My first job, when I moved to California, was customer service related. It was the job that changed my life, if you can believe it. However, there was a whole process of learning as time passed as I became a manager and eventually turned my back on that job to start a new chapter in my life. I bring this up because once upon a time an old friend found me on the Myspace, it was someone I worked with at the music store. I was super excited to be back in touch with her; I’d sought her out from time to time over the years. After we reconnected, I dusted off my mental time capsule to remember my life ten years ago… Inez and I were just friends, in my mind, though, I desperately wanted so much more. I didn’t know how to just come out and say it though. Instead I was a passive aggressive shit-head. I would often not communicate with her when I’d see her chatting up one of my male co-workers.

I would ignore her, push her away and such. I really had no idea of what I was doing back then. I didn’t know how to deal with my feelings. More specifically, I didn’t know how to deal with feelings unrequited. Countless times I would be warm and cold with her; she must have thought I was a whack job. I certainly felt like one. For me, it got to the point that things were excessively for me to deal with. In place of dealing with it and telling her how I felt, I ran away… Much like King Arthur and his companions ran away from the vicious rabbit in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. What did I do precisely? I transferred to a different store and didn’t tell her. She didn’t know until my last time. Needless to say she was upset with me. To her credit Inez never led me on. We would hang out often, talk on the phone and see movies and all that stuff.

At that time in my life, I didn’t know who I was or where I was going, I had no car; I was a piece of work with little to offer someone. Through it all she always said was a good friend I was. She never crossed any lines with me, even though I was desperately hoping for it… A month later I found out she had a boyfriend. I was further crushed. What a sad story and somewhat pathetic, huh? So, was that the end of the story? Was there more to it? I did what any self respecting 18 year old would do! I, with a couple of friends, went over to her house and toilet papered the shit out of that place (no pun intended). We tied their filled-to-the-top trash cans to their garage door and tied chicken wire around the knobs on their front door to keep them shut. It was a good three hours of work to tee pee the place.

In fact we did that job so nice, we did it twice! Now that I’m half way to forty, i could take inventory and see how much I’ve grown and how much I’ve learned. Toilet Papering Inez’s place was immature, but it sure felt good at the time. I think the most important thing for me was learning to love who I am and building self-confidence. I’m proud of that. I’m less proud of the epic toilet papery we exacted on Inez’s place; certainly her parents couldn’t have been very happy. However, I’d like to take this point and say to Inez: If you’re reading this: “I’m sorry for being a shit head to you and I’m also sorry for the copious amounts of toilet paper I used to tee pee your parent’s place all those years ago.” Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Self Tagged in: passive aggressive The guy I’m dating is being challenged, practically crushed by the world you could say.  In the last 2 months, he’s been in two major automobile accidents, had a leg surgery and been slapped with a delinquency notice from the I.R.S.  He owes thousands of dollars, is in physical pain and uncomfortably forced to buy a new car (especially painful because he love, love, loved his old one!).

Talking Dirty: A Brief Exploration

With fun-filled days like these I’d be hitting Timmy Nolan’s Pub in Toluca.  Not for this bad-ass guy, no way.  It became routine, on Friday he’d call me up and fill me in with whatever meteor had fallen in to his lap.

  This continued throughout January and February, when finally he vented to me. February 12, two days before Valentines, two glasses of twinkly champagne in to our couch date, he released his former nonchalant approach to the continuing series of events and stated, “I think I’m done.  I’m over with this shit”. Finally, Mr. Strength had come really, really close to asking for help. Thank goodness, I thought, for I was beginning to feel pretty gangly and inadequate around him for being so moderate-tempered.  Screw those kinds of people!  Sometimes I just need a good healthy unraveling of character you know?  A little neuroses to go with my bubbly, thank you truly. What is it about men that make them think if they ask questions, it means they are big, fat dumbo-faces?  Yes, I do call people names!  I’m a teacher, what do you expect?  Now, we all remember the smart-alec teacher who lied to us and said, “Now children, there are no stupid questions, just stupid children” (oops, didn’t yours say that, too?) Anyway, it’s ingrained early on that when we look towards another, it’s a sign of weakness.  Whether by educators, peers, family, friends, society, or whatever else seeps in to our mindset on a minute-by-minute basis–this is the message.  Admit a need, admit a fault. How screwed up is this, though?

  I feel great when someone asks what I think.  That means they trust me with the potential solution.  For a brief moment, all the world stops and listens, and just once, I get the power to make this huge decision, to answer and give back, or to make something up so I don’t feel like the dumb one.  Whatever I choose, I feel pretty darn awesome for existing.  And men want to take this away from us!  Selfish, downright selfish.  I shouldn’t just zero in on them, but…hey, this is a blog about dating and men, whatd’ya want from me? It comes down to this: when he’s at his worst, I’m at my best.  Thanks babe, looks like I’ll be doin’ the ego strut because of you.

  Truly romantic. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: advice, Dating If you’re in a relationship, no doubt you and your significant other have shared battle stories and shown your emotional relationship scars over the years. That what people in relationships do… Well, that’s what they’re supposed to do anyway… Lots of things like thoughts, insecurities and bodily fluids get shared. We’re no strangers to sharing. Right? That said, have you ever discussed the idea of bringing another person into the bedroom? Rather, would you entertain the notion of having a “guest star” in the bedroom for one night… maybe more? Sure, sure, you would imagine it’s all sorts of fun and games until someone starts getting hurt feelings and becoming insecure… That said, would I entertain the idea? I’m a curious bloke, so I why not entertain the idea? My girlfriend did sort of cheat on me in a dream recently by doing a woman.  Not gonna lie, that was sort of hot. Now it’s your turn. Threesome.

Would you do it? Have you done it? Answer below! Take Our Poll Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Sex Tagged in: Sex, threesomes Well, you only had to ask me once! So this month’s Insomnia Club post has to do with taking a dump, as-in getting dumped or dumping someone… Either way it’s something I am well-versed in. Nobody likes getting dumped by their significant other, I mean most people don’t. I can’t think of anyone that wakes up and says, “hot-diggity, I hope Janice breaks my heart and beats me to death with a puppy today!!!” I know, it’s ridiculous. Right? That said, getting dumped takes a little bit of preparation and the ability to live in “reality.” The flip-side of getting dumped is, of course, dumping someone.

I have friends that relish this little act of pain and agony. I always marvel at how some of my friends have dumped people with such… aplomb? It’s something to marvel at from time to time. So now that I’ve laid it out for you all, let’s get to talking about taking a dump… A Mid-Summer Night’s Squeal It seemed a stretch that a dopey 22 year-old putz who played Magic the Gathering and masturbated to whatever was on ‘Sabado Gigante’ could be in a serious relationship with a beautiful girl. She was, after all, the girl who had ‘punched my v-card.’ Which, was quite nice of her to be so kind to such a dork. We had gotten back from the movies, we hadn’t kissed all night and when I tried to kiss her when we got back to her apartment, she avoided it, giving me a cheek instead. That was simply confirmation that something wasn’t right in Gotham… I prodded, and my girlfriend, Christy, said nothing. Instead, she went about making dinner and turning on a movie and playing it loudly. Dinner passed, I turned off the TV. We both looked at each other, as I plopped down next to her on the couch. Then we kissed… But it was like “goodbye” if that makes any sense at all. Christy looked at me, took a deep breath and explained we couldn’t date anymore… She was going to get back together with one of her ex-boyfriends… Had she cheated on me? She said she didn’t (I didn’t ask her, she simply offered up that bit of info) and I chose to believe her.

I asked her why and she said: “Alex, look, if there wasn’t anyone else, it would be you, it would definitely be you…” I am Jack’s gaping chest-hole from where my heart had been ripped. It took time, but I managed to get over it. How? By completely shutting myself away from my ex. She wanted to be friends, I wouldn’t have any of it. Truthfully, I needed time and time I got. Even a whole year later my ego was bruised and I was still raw. I wouldn’t give in to Christy and be a friend… She tried following up with me, coming into my work to say hi. I ignored her.

Was I being petty? Perhaps. Do I wish I handled it better? Sure… I tried briefly, but it hurt excessively and knowing she wasn’t mine killed me, knowing that the guy she was with was far more accomplished in life by that point also didn’t help. That, kids, is what we call insecurity and it also kills. I needed to do better. The Pre-Dump Dump I later learned that not all dumps happen face to face. I’ve been dumped via email, text message, hand-written letters… At one point I half expected someone to experience a smoke-signal breakup or have it done via court-order or something like that. Sometimes we just fall so hard for people who don’t feel the same for us. Actually, I was just told about someone who wasn’t in to me the way I was into her… I just found out two months ago, in fact. This girl in question, decided she wasn’t into me more than three years ago… She never told me, but she did tell a friend of mine… I laid it all on the line for her; told her how I felt and what I thought about her. All I got was silence in return. Literally. She stared off into space; we both did and I thought about applying to the International Committee on Awkward Moments to see if I could register that moment in their ‘Most Awkward Moment Contest for 2008.’ Needless to say, we remained friends and never really did get that answer from her why she didn’t feel the same way about me that I felt about her. You know what I learned? Sometimes people just don’t feel the same.

They don’t fit. Sometimes people are square pegs to another person’s round-hole (for once I’m not trying to be perverted)… No explanation becomes necessary. Just is. She couldn’t tell me, but she could tell one of my close buddies and, he just barely told me two months ago. I reflected briefly in the beauty of that rejection. I’m not being sarcastic, but she dumped all her feelings into this friend of mine… He never told me because he promised her that he wouldn’t… He waited. He waited until he saw that I was happy, that I could take it. Maybe I should be mad about it, but I’m not. He did right by me and by her. Turns out she’s gonna get married next year and I found my one-and-only almost two years ago… It’s not about getting dumped, it’s all about how you take a dump. Stay tuned for more posts from my fellow Insomniacs this month and I’ll post them below. Women Are From Mars – http://womenarefrommars.wordpress.com/2011/09/20/my-advice-on-the-end-of-the-affair-or-whatever/ Single in My 30s – http://singleinmy30s.wordpress.com/2011/09/22/summer-lovin-ended-so-fast/ Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Insomnia Club Tagged in: taking a dump Ever fucked on a bookshelf? It’s a tense moment, the first time you bring someone you’re dating back to your apartment. Even for the most unremarkable, straight-laced person, your living space speaks about you in a thousand quiet ways.

And you’re far from straight-laced and unremarkable, right? You see your place every day, so you’re blind to all the quirks and peculiarities it reveals about you. So even if you’ve made the sensible precautions – washed the sheets, vacuumed the carpets, moved the pile of dirty dishes from beside the computer to inside the closet – it’s easy to get blindsided by some little confession your apartment makes on your behalf. And nowhere is more revealing than your bookshelf. Bookshelves are mysterious, intriguing things. They are simultaneously very personal and completely open. Each volume reveals a series of choices on your part – to buy, to read, to display – and speaks to what you find beautiful, sublime, exciting and worthwhile in the world.

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